Hi, just wanted to share with you a message I received from a friend and old (not age wise!) co-worker..
Hi there!
I just saw your blog. I was in the same position about a year and a half ago. Going through a divorce after being married for 15 years, in a job that I was miserable in and completely overwhelmed in and trying to come out of the divorce without having to pay almost half my salary in alimony. I wanted to quit my job so bad and just go back home to Michigan to be with my family but I couldn't because it would appear to the courts that I did it to get out of alimony and would have to pay anyhow. The overwhelming stress if it all combined sent me in a severe depression. I was having anxiety attacks constantly and got to the point where I could no longer function at work. I met with my VP of HR and she immediately set up an appointment with a friend of hers that was a therapist who also recommended a Dr. I was immediately put on Lexapro & on leave of absence indefinitely. I realized that if I am going to be out of work for a length of time, I am going to make the most of my mid-life crisis. After finalizing my divorce a month later (no alimony awarded but lost most of of my savings) that evening after it was final, I flew to Europe for a month and traveled by myself. I had no plan except to come back in 30 days. When I came back and realized I wasn't done so I went to Egypt for the hell of it. I had a blast! Rode horses across the desert, went on a safari and slept under the stars, learned to scuba dive. Did all the things I wanted to do or loved to do. Taking the time to truly enjoy life and do what I wanted to do for myself was the best cure for my depression! In that 7 month time I was off work I was able to reconnect and spend time with my family, got a sweet pug puppy named Sammy, got my old pug Yogi back from my ex and met a wonderful man named Shane who I am going to marry in 19 days:) I am also going to be a step mommy to 2 wonderful children. I NEVER would have imagined that a year and a half ago I would be so happy. As I type this now, my little Sammy is snoring on my lap. Kind of sounds like a purr:)
What makes me purr??? Shane, my soon to be step children, family and my puppies.
I wish you the best and lots of happiness!
Obe and Cornelius
Obe and Cornelius
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Good morning!
I didn't start this blog to be about all sweetness and light, I do want to share with you the dark journey that I have been on and the road that leads to a more light heart and seeing the world in a positive way.
2010 was a bit of a rough year, I started a new job that required relocation, put one of my cats to sleep, Magellan (Jelly), Obe was diagnosed with diabetes and my father-in-law, Miles, passed away in April. Mix all of that together with selling an apartment I loved, moving to Rhode Island and realizing that the job I took might not be the best thing for me, well that all turned into a recipe for depression.
I started to feel less like myself in August. I was mildly depressed, which I just took for being in a new environment, stress from work, being less financially secure than I had been for a very long time. As the weeks progressed I began to feel a heavy weight on me. My head felt as if I was having a heavy hand pressing down on it, sleep eluded me, my mind raced at all hours of the day and night and I lived in fear. Fear that I would be fired, fear that Erik and I would lose the house if I did get fired, had zero confidence in myself and shut out the world. I stopped calling family and friends, didn't return phone calls and I think the moment of me realizing that I wasn't going to get better by myself was on a Sunday when I couldn't get off the sofa, just staring at the walls. I was at the point of not wanting to be part of the world anymore.
Erik knew that something was wrong, but with this depression there was little that he could do to help. I know that he felt helpless, frustrated and unable to just make it all go away. Before I got really bad, Hilary had come to visit and we talked, it helped, but as I got deeper into the depression I shut everyone out......I realized I needed professional help to get through the despair.
People at work noticed a changed difference in me. For those of you who know me, I love to laugh, have a quick wit and enjoy interacting with people. I withdrew, barely able to make it through the work day.
I called the Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that's offered through work. For any of you who have it, it's a great resource to use. I was seen the next day by a counselor, referred to a psych nurse for meds and referred to a therapist.
I was started on Lexapro that week, but it's not a magic bullet. The medication takes time to build up in your system, so the depression doesn't go away with the first pill. But week after week the depression lightens, the therapy helps and the light at the end of the tunnel isn't the headlight of an oncoming train!
I'd like to ask that each you look at the people around you. Is there anyone who seems withdrawn, not their normal self? Have they shut themselves out of the world? Fight to get into their life, fight to make sure that they have options for help, fight to get them back and out of the scary and very dark hole. They may resist, understand that it's only the depression, understand that we don't want to feel this way but are hopeless to make the change, fight to help!
Having helped someone in your life fight the depression, get back their life, uplift their spirits, well that will truly make you purr!
I didn't start this blog to be about all sweetness and light, I do want to share with you the dark journey that I have been on and the road that leads to a more light heart and seeing the world in a positive way.
2010 was a bit of a rough year, I started a new job that required relocation, put one of my cats to sleep, Magellan (Jelly), Obe was diagnosed with diabetes and my father-in-law, Miles, passed away in April. Mix all of that together with selling an apartment I loved, moving to Rhode Island and realizing that the job I took might not be the best thing for me, well that all turned into a recipe for depression.
I started to feel less like myself in August. I was mildly depressed, which I just took for being in a new environment, stress from work, being less financially secure than I had been for a very long time. As the weeks progressed I began to feel a heavy weight on me. My head felt as if I was having a heavy hand pressing down on it, sleep eluded me, my mind raced at all hours of the day and night and I lived in fear. Fear that I would be fired, fear that Erik and I would lose the house if I did get fired, had zero confidence in myself and shut out the world. I stopped calling family and friends, didn't return phone calls and I think the moment of me realizing that I wasn't going to get better by myself was on a Sunday when I couldn't get off the sofa, just staring at the walls. I was at the point of not wanting to be part of the world anymore.
Erik knew that something was wrong, but with this depression there was little that he could do to help. I know that he felt helpless, frustrated and unable to just make it all go away. Before I got really bad, Hilary had come to visit and we talked, it helped, but as I got deeper into the depression I shut everyone out......I realized I needed professional help to get through the despair.
People at work noticed a changed difference in me. For those of you who know me, I love to laugh, have a quick wit and enjoy interacting with people. I withdrew, barely able to make it through the work day.
I called the Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that's offered through work. For any of you who have it, it's a great resource to use. I was seen the next day by a counselor, referred to a psych nurse for meds and referred to a therapist.
I was started on Lexapro that week, but it's not a magic bullet. The medication takes time to build up in your system, so the depression doesn't go away with the first pill. But week after week the depression lightens, the therapy helps and the light at the end of the tunnel isn't the headlight of an oncoming train!
I'd like to ask that each you look at the people around you. Is there anyone who seems withdrawn, not their normal self? Have they shut themselves out of the world? Fight to get into their life, fight to make sure that they have options for help, fight to get them back and out of the scary and very dark hole. They may resist, understand that it's only the depression, understand that we don't want to feel this way but are hopeless to make the change, fight to help!
Having helped someone in your life fight the depression, get back their life, uplift their spirits, well that will truly make you purr!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
More Purring!
Last night as I was going through Facebook, a dear friend and co-worker was posting pix of her recent trip to Florence........the food, the sights, the GELATO! and I was taken back to the several trips that I have had the good fortune to visit that gorgeous city (PURR!).
Erik and I had vacationed in Italy, staying about 45 minutes south of Florence and it's a city that both of us L-O-V-E! My friend Julie's pix show an absolute joie-de-vivre (I think that's the best term for her too) and reminded me about the amazing and wonderful places I have been privileged to visit. But at the same time, I haven't taken the time to explore where I live now!
For some reason, with absolutely no association to Florence, I thought about the quick weekend I took to see my bestie, Hilary (PURR!), in Boulder. We ran around the city (yodeling pickle anyone?) and one day we took a drive up into Rocky Mountain National Park. Hilary and I ALWAYS wear Depends when we are together, it saves us from the embarrassment of wet pants.....as we were laughing and driving up the mountains the air became clearer and the scent of the pine trees was like no other scent. It's like a million christmas trees all together. The crisp cool air, the smell, oh the smell, and Hilary's company was a definite PURR! Perhaps the most amazing of all was the elk (moose?) that were grazing right at the side of the road and the mountains behind them, well PURR!
Show me your purr and I'll continue to show you mine......
PURR!
Erik and I had vacationed in Italy, staying about 45 minutes south of Florence and it's a city that both of us L-O-V-E! My friend Julie's pix show an absolute joie-de-vivre (I think that's the best term for her too) and reminded me about the amazing and wonderful places I have been privileged to visit. But at the same time, I haven't taken the time to explore where I live now!
For some reason, with absolutely no association to Florence, I thought about the quick weekend I took to see my bestie, Hilary (PURR!), in Boulder. We ran around the city (yodeling pickle anyone?) and one day we took a drive up into Rocky Mountain National Park. Hilary and I ALWAYS wear Depends when we are together, it saves us from the embarrassment of wet pants.....as we were laughing and driving up the mountains the air became clearer and the scent of the pine trees was like no other scent. It's like a million christmas trees all together. The crisp cool air, the smell, oh the smell, and Hilary's company was a definite PURR! Perhaps the most amazing of all was the elk (moose?) that were grazing right at the side of the road and the mountains behind them, well PURR!
Show me your purr and I'll continue to show you mine......
PURR!
What Makes You Purr
I was diagnosed with severe depression several months ago. For those of you who have never suffered from it, depression is a debilitating and vicious cycle, that left untreated, continues to worsen. I was unable to function at work, was rendered unable to interact with my family and friends and I was unable to enjoy my life. Fortunately I was able to get help, both from medication and therapy, and I am feeling much better!
During my last therapy session my counselor asked me about what positive things were happening in my life. I had little to share as I have been focused on what's not good in my life. That night as I was in bed, unable to sleep, I was surrounded by my three "boys": Erik, my partner of 19 years; Obe, my 10 year old buff colored tabby and Cornelius, my 3 year old orange tabby. I listened to Erik's gentle breathing, Obe's soft grunts and intermittent purrs and to Cornelius' purring. We adopted Cornelius as a kitten and he has never warmed up to human contact, but he will sleep in bed with us, all 19 pounds of him on my legs. I was able to reach down and give him some love, starting about a 45 minute session of heavy purring.
As I enjoyed the sounds that all three were making, I realized that this moment, this very moment, was a positive and blissful time and I wondered, what makes me purr? What, in my life, is uncomplicated and good? I thought back to many times in my life where, if I could would purr.
Then I thought about what makes others "purr"? What stories, what events in someone's life could be shared that others could see the joy and bliss in life and realize that depression can be a short-lived problem? I thought about an October day that Erik, our friend Sheila and I went to a pottery show. The sky was clear blue, there was a pumpkin patch filled with children, and the sea of orange pumpkins with the blue sky is a color combination I'll never forget. The temperature was one of the last warm days of fall and the scent of leaves on the ground, the sun on my skin and the camaraderie of friendship and love, well that thought of all of this is making me purr right now!
I'd like this blog to be interactive. I want to hear the good things in your life, stories that will inspire, stories that bring hope to those of us suffering from depression or sad times. Make them as detailed and descriptive as possible, add color, scents and feelings, share with us your hopes and dreams that inspire, give courage and let us know that all is good in the world. You don't need to be a cat lover to contribute!
So on this first day of the New Year, 2011.......... what makes YOU purr?
During my last therapy session my counselor asked me about what positive things were happening in my life. I had little to share as I have been focused on what's not good in my life. That night as I was in bed, unable to sleep, I was surrounded by my three "boys": Erik, my partner of 19 years; Obe, my 10 year old buff colored tabby and Cornelius, my 3 year old orange tabby. I listened to Erik's gentle breathing, Obe's soft grunts and intermittent purrs and to Cornelius' purring. We adopted Cornelius as a kitten and he has never warmed up to human contact, but he will sleep in bed with us, all 19 pounds of him on my legs. I was able to reach down and give him some love, starting about a 45 minute session of heavy purring.
As I enjoyed the sounds that all three were making, I realized that this moment, this very moment, was a positive and blissful time and I wondered, what makes me purr? What, in my life, is uncomplicated and good? I thought back to many times in my life where, if I could would purr.
Then I thought about what makes others "purr"? What stories, what events in someone's life could be shared that others could see the joy and bliss in life and realize that depression can be a short-lived problem? I thought about an October day that Erik, our friend Sheila and I went to a pottery show. The sky was clear blue, there was a pumpkin patch filled with children, and the sea of orange pumpkins with the blue sky is a color combination I'll never forget. The temperature was one of the last warm days of fall and the scent of leaves on the ground, the sun on my skin and the camaraderie of friendship and love, well that thought of all of this is making me purr right now!
I'd like this blog to be interactive. I want to hear the good things in your life, stories that will inspire, stories that bring hope to those of us suffering from depression or sad times. Make them as detailed and descriptive as possible, add color, scents and feelings, share with us your hopes and dreams that inspire, give courage and let us know that all is good in the world. You don't need to be a cat lover to contribute!
So on this first day of the New Year, 2011.......... what makes YOU purr?
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